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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I'd rather dream about zombies

My husband and I watched Walking Dead's season 3 finale last night before we went to bed.  As we walked to our room in the dark, my husband proceeded to make zombie noises to try and scare me.  He got a good slap for that one.  Rude!
So WHY is it that I didn't dream about this horrifying show and instead dreamed about my husband having an affair??!!  I didn't dream about the details of the affair that's already destroyed me, I dreamed that I found out my husband was having consecutive affairs with different people over the entire course of our marriage.  One of the WORST. DREAMS. EVER!  And in my dream, he was having affairs with several women I knew and it was devastating to find this out because it was clear that my husband had some kind of problem that couldn't be fixed and I would have no choice but to leave him. It was almost like he was some kind of sociopath.

I never thought I'd say this, but I'd rather dream about zombies!!! 
I woke up in a sweat.  I hate when dreams feel so real.  When they start to make me question whether any part of them are true.  I looked in a dream dictionary for an interpretation and found this:
To dream that your mate, spouse, or significant other is cheating on you highlights your insecurities and your fears of being abandoned. You feel that you are being taken for granted. You are lacking attention in the relationship or that he or she is being less affectionate. Alternatively, you feel that you are not measuring up to the expectations of others. 
That is very interesting because I would agree that I still have a lot of fears and insecurities.  I've also been feeling like I don't get as much attention from him, now that more time has passed and we don't talk about the affair as much. I feel like I still need to be showered with love and attention all day every day! But of course that is not realistic...I mean, he has a job to go to.  But I still find myself wanting MORE from him.


Anonymous said...

I think that's normal to feel that way. When we first find out about the affair we do everything we can to "fix" it and be perfect. To give what they need to feel loved by us again so they can start to heal and come back to us. And we burn ourselves out. We need to feel the same love back. It's just one of those things that we can't force and have to let it happen on it's own. It's crappy, for sure, but we can make it through :)

Anonymous said...

Omg ikr lol