When I met my husband, he was my Mr. Darcy. I've never felt such love, such care, such sincerity. We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) and so we found ourselves worthy to marry in the temple. Of course, life isn't perfect. Time passes and the connection we once felt didn't always hold strong. I love my children, but boy do they make life harder!! I feel like I've always been grasping for straws...trying to find things that help give me purpose in life. Sure a wife and mother are important callings, but I have always felt that I needed "More" and have lent much of my time to other people and other things. I admit that I lost focus of what is REALLY important to me : my family.
When I found out that my husband of 12 years had a 1 month emotional affair with my good friend/neighbor of 3 years, my world turned upside down. It made me look at who I was and decide that I didn't want to be that person anymore. That person that got so disconnected from what was REALLY important, that she almost lost her family. I don't blame myself for his decisions, but I certainly take responsibility for the part I played. As soon as I found out, I dropped everything I was doing in my life to solely focus on my family and cope with what had happened. My security in my life in Pemberly with my dear Mr. Darcy had been completely shattered!
Who am I now? Because right now this event is defining every aspect of my life. I still am a wife and a mother. I have lost my desire to be excited about many things that used to make me so happy, but deep down I still have a love of music and the instruments that I play, I love movies and television, I love good food and tasty treats, I love nature and exploring new things, I love beautiful photographs, I love a good murder mystery, and most importantly, I love making my family happy. I am not a professional marriage counselor, but I feel like I have a lot to share, through my experiences.
In order to protect my family, I have decided to keep this blog anonymous. So the names you read are not our real names, but I will stay as true to my real self as I can. You can call me Elizabeth.
29 comments:
Hi Elizabeth,
I can identify with you and extend my sincere understanding and support.
Love,
Mina
@Mina : Thank you so much!!
I just discovered your blog - your experience is hauntingly similar to my own. Deceit, heartbreak and recovery have been my reality for the last year as well. It is both scary and refreshing to know that someone else has walked a similar path. Thank you for sharing
Love, Love, Love your blog. I have slowly begun reinventing myself and have decided to blog about it. I have even inspired myself to write a book. Your posts are deep and thoughtful. I have truly enjoyed myself. Adding you to my feedly now!
I don't get it... did you divorce or forgive?
Thank you for your comments!! To answer Anna's question, we are still together. I don't know if I have fully forgiven him, but I am still working towards that.
Hi Elizabeth! I found your blog a little over a year ago and fell in love with it. I felt like I could relate to you so much. Even though are situations are different.
I check back every now and then hoping you will post soon. I'm not sure if you even check this blog anymore but I just wanted to let you know that your blog helped me through an extremely hard year in my life and helped me have the want to actually stay in my marriage and work through our problems. I feel very grateful to you for that, I hope everything has been going good for you in your marriage. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep pushing forward and not giving up. I know your blog has helped many others beside me.
Thank you!
As a man who has gone through a similar experience I want to thank you for your honesty in sharing your experience. It has been very helpful to me. I know it's been years since your last post, so I can only hope you had a happy ending.
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