Love The One You Hold

I know Valentine's Day is past, but I wanted to share one of my favorite songs lately.  It's Lover Of The Light by Mumford and Sons.

 

As I always say, songs can be interpreted in a number of ways, but I especially love the chorus of this one.

 

"But love the one you hold

And I will be your gold

To have and to hold

A lover of the light"

 

Commit to the person you are already with!  Make an effort and I strongly believe that you will find "gold" and "light" in your relationship!!

Here are all the lyrics for you:

 

And in the middle of the night

 I may watch you go.

 There'll be no value in the strength

Of walls that I'll have grown

There'll be no comfort in the shade of the shadows thrown

But I'd be yours if you'd be mine

 

Stretch out my life and pick the seams out

Take what you like but close my ears and eyes

 Or watch me stumble over and over

I had done wrong you built your tower

But call me home

and I will build a throne

 And wash my eyes out never again

 

But love the one you hold

And I will be your gold

To have and to hold

A lover of the light

 

With skin too tight and eyes like marbles

You spin me high so watch me as I glide

Before I tumble homeward,

homeward I know I've tried I was not stable

 And flawed by pride

I miss my sanguine eyes

So hold my hands up

Breathe in and breathe out

 

So love the one you hold

And I will be your gold

To have and to hold

A lover of the light

 

And in the middle of the night I may watch you go.

 There'll be no value in the strength

 Of walls that I'll have grown

 There'll be no comfort in the shade of the shadows thrown

You may not trust the promises of the change I'll show

But I'd be yours If you'd be mine

 

So love the one you hold

And I'll be your gold

To have and to hold

A lover of the light

So love the one you hold

And I will be your gold

To have and to hold

A lover of the light

AWESOME Valentine's Gift Idea

Warning: More sexy talk....

Hey, it IS Valentines day coming up!

This is a great Valentine's Day Gift Idea, or anniversary gift idea

 

Let me introduce you to a

Boudoir Session

 

 

 

A lot of people don't know what this is.

It's basically a photo session of you in lingerie.

But it can be as clean and tasteful as you want it to be.

 

I know, I know....it's hard to want to do something like this when you're not feeling skinny.  And these pictures don't really help...I'm sorry.  But honestly...your husband is going to have his eyes pop out that you did this for him. 

 

You can get lingerie that helps cover the parts you are the most insecure about, and if you have a good photographer, she can get shoot the angles that work best for you and highlight your best features.  I like the idea of the outfit with the see through sweater...it can be sexy to see a bra underneath, but the sweater can help hide your love handles. 

 

You'll need some red lipstick (Be bold!)

Well, bring a few different lipsticks

Glamour yourself up like you're going out on a fancy date.

And indulge in a few new pieces for the bedroom. (Husband's favorite color?)

Some high heels might be fun

Even a sexy dress up/Halloween costume (does your husband have a fantasy? sexy nurse? haha)

Depending how comfortable you are, you might want to show a little more skin.  Maybe shirt off, but covering your chest with your arms.  Hey, this IS your husband after all.  He's seen you naked!

 

Maybe it will motivate you to get healthy and exercise and when you drop a few pounds, go for it!

But even if you don't, seriously, just get what works for you

What will make you the sexiest is not how much you weigh, but how much you have confidence in yourself.  As much as you don't want to believe it, your husband THINKS YOU'RE SEXY no matter what!  So Rock That Body!!  Bring out your inner sex goddess!! I know it's in there somewhere!

 

All I want to say, is think about it. 

I know my body is just going to go downhill from here, so I'm so glad I did it.

Not just for my husband, but for me too!  

Knock your husband's socks off this Valentine's Day

 Just to warn you, I'm just going to let myself go in this post.  Throw all caution to the wind.   Why is it a little bit hard for some of us to talk about the sexual nature of our relationships?!  It just feels like something that should be kept within the bedroom.  Ha!   BUT I am a big believer that we can all learn a lot from each other and I do think that sex should be included in that.  It's just as important a part of our relationships as anything else, and my blog DOES have a lot to do with helping you in your relationships. So here we go!

 

 

"She was standin' in the kitchen with nothin' but her apron on"

Oh yes.

You know where I'm going with this.

No more only having sex late at night with all the lights off.

Have a little fun, will ya?!

 

Some of you might remember this sweet little song, "Somewhere Other Than The Night" by Garth Brooks.  I'm not sure how many people it has inspired, but I know it inspired ME.  I really wanted to do something different last year for Valentines Day. I stepped out of my shell and let me tell you, it was completely worth it.  Here's what you can do:

 

Get rid of the kids before your husband gets home from work. Check!

Shower and shave your legs. Check!

Put on some panties and an apron. (nothing else!)  Check!

Be ready with ingredients to cook dinner together.  Check!

Optional...light some candles, put out some rose petals, set a the dinner table with some bubbly.  Check!

Have an apron ready for the hubby. (of course I'm not going to be the only naked one in the kitchen!) Check!

Be standing in the kitchen with nothing but your apron on when your hubby walks in. Check!

Make love before dinner.  NOPE!

PS: Does anyone REALLY say making love? I was trying to be more appropriate/romantic, but maybe I'll just say what I would normally say. haha

Do it after dinner.  NOPE!

Do it after you massage each other in front of the fire.  NOPE!

 

Don't get me wrong...do plenty of touching, kissing, whatever, but after dinner and after giving each other a massage, we got dressed and went to a movie!! We found ourselves to be very cuddly and touchy feely at the movie and by the time we got home, we were REA-DY.

 

And let me tell you...it was one of the best sexual experiences I've had in my 13 years of marriage....for both of us!

Hope you'll try it! ;)

Say Something

 

This is a REALLY popular song right now

"Say Something" by A Great Big World, feat Christina Aguilera

I hear it all over the radio

It really is beautiful to listen to

But can be so sad when you really listen to the words

Push play and follow the lyrics below

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

 I'll be the one, if you want me to.

 Anywhere I would've followed you.

 Say something, I'm giving up on you.

 

And I am feeling so small.

 It was over my head

 I know nothing at all.

And I will stumble and fall.

 I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl.

Say something,

 

I'm giving up on you.

 I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

Anywhere I would've followed you.

 Say something, I'm giving up on you.

 

And I will swallow my pride.

 You're the one that I love

 And I'm saying goodbye.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

 

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

 And anywhere I would've followed you.

Oh-oh-oh-oh

 Say something, I'm giving up on you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

 Say something...

 

 

I'm sure this song can be interpreted a number of ways

The video itself poses 3 different situations someone might be in when relating to this song

It touched me most when relating to a couple struggling in their relationship

 

My favorite part of the lyrics are

"I know nothing at all

And I will stumble & fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl"

 

It is SO TRUE!

Isn't it?

I don't think there is anyone on this earth that knows how to love perfectly

There are so many factors that affect how we love

How we grew up

The people who loved us and raised us

And then you meet someone who may have learned how to love in a different way

And then everything we experience along the way

 changes who we are and how we love

 

When my husband cheated on me,

it wasn't physical

It was emotional

And going through that experience taught me that

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

I had barely touched the surface of what it means to love

There were so many things I wasn't doing

Because I hadn't yet learned how

 

That's why second chances are so important

Instead of getting so frustrated or angry with our spouse over something we feel they should have
already KNOWN how to do,

We need to understand that we are all still learning

So SAY SOMETHING

Talk to your spouse in a loving way

Let them know that you love them

But that you need something to change

Have a heartfelt conversation

 

And if you are on the receiving end of this plea

LISTEN and then SAY SOMETHING back

Don't let yourself get defensive

Don't let yourself feel judged

Don't let yourself pull away from them right when they are trying to reach out.

Your version of the song doesn't have to include

"And I'm saying goodbye"

Feeling crazy like Gatsby

We just recently rented The Great Gatsby.  I read this book in high school, but didn't remember much about it other than I don't think I liked it and thought it was boring.  I really think Baz Lurman brought this book to life on the screen.  He was the director of Moulin Rouge also, and you can tell when you watch.  The styles are similar....eye candy.  LOVED Moulin Rouge. 

 Gatsby said something towards the end of the film that struck me:

"If I can just get back to the start...."

He was obsessed with wiping out the 5 years he had lost with his love Daisy.  But he was not just wanting to start over, he was wanting to pretend those 5 years didn't exist basically.  He kind of seemed like he wasn't right in the head, but I sort of got it.  

How many times have I wished that POOF, all the bad things could be whisked away from my memory and I could be sent back in time to do it all over again.  But do it in a better way of course.  In a way that avoids all the pain and heartache.  So many times I've wished this.  That's all Gatsby wanted.  He just wanted to start over.  

 

Nick Carraway told him: “You can’t repeat the past.”

 

“Can’t repeat the past?” he cried incredulously. “Why of course you can!”

 

And he was dead set on making that happen! haha  Sure, he sounds a little crazy, but that HOPE that you feel from him.  You almost believe him!

 

It's just too bad that he lost everything by being obsessed with this goal. If he had just accepted the past for what it was and let it go, he could have moved forward with the love of his life and lived happily ever after. 

 

So yes, I sometimes feel a little crazy like Gatsby, but I do understand that what is done is done.  It's in the past.  There's no redoing it.  No matter how hard a person tries...the past can't be forgotten. It becomes a part of you. It changes you.  Sometimes for the worse, but hopefully for the better. Accepting this is part of moving on.  It won't make everything better, but it's a start.  

10 ways to have the Best Date Night

 

The purpose of Date Night is the time to RECONNECT and REDISCOVER each other and leave the demands of the daily schedule behind. 

 

You've probably heard this from me before, but it is impossible stay connected throughout an entire marriage without working for it.  A marriage consists of the cycle of connecting, disconnecting, and reconnecting again.  The disconnection is inevitable.  In fact, the trouble in a marriage (i.e. an affair) doesn't stem from the DISCONNECTION, but when we don't make the effort to RECONNECT when needed! 

 

People often misunderstand that in order to have a good date night, it must be well planned, elaborate or expensive.  While all of these things can contribute to amazing date nights, they are not necessary to having some of the best dates of your life.  You will find that the best date nights don't rely on what you DO on them, as much as what you FEEL from them.  We need to feel CONNECTED to each other.  And when we feel connected we feel happier and more secure in our relationship.  Here are 10 ways you can be sure to connect on date night:

 

1.  Touching.  Let me start by saying that it is not a true date night without touching each other.  Hold hands, touch their back, give their leg a squeeze, lean in for a kiss, the possibilities are endless.

2.  Meaningful Conversation.  Put your phones away and focus on each other!  In a world where texting is becoming the dominant way to communicate, chances for a one on one conversation are more important than ever! If you need help, you can always google conversations starters, like my 50 random questions found HERE.
3. Take turns doing what the other person loves to do.  You may not love going to a sporting event or you might despise the idea of taking a cooking class together, but if you know your spouse would thoroughly enjoy this, then let yourself find out why!!  Not only might you learn something new from your spouse, but they will feel more connected to you, knowing you care about the things they love.
4.  Planning.  I don't mean spending hours working up the perfect date.  But just enough thought into it to make sure you are not falling back on what is easiest and most convenient. It might even be fun taking turns deciding what you're going to do for date night.
5. Touch each other! PS: there are no rules on PDA when you are married. Who cares if it bothers other people, you are trying to connect with your lover!
6. Try new things.  Get out of your comfort zone.  We know you love the rolls at Texas Roadhouse, or that you crave the Tomato Basil Soup at Zupas.  But it's not going to hurt you to go somewhere NEW.  New foods and places not only stimulate new taste buds, but new growth! It may not be a wonderful experience every time, but it will at least give you something to talk about!
7.  Simplify.  No need to be elaborate.  Go out to eat and then stop at a park and play cards on a blanket. Or take the game home in front of the fire with drinks on a chilly evening.  The phrase "go big or go home" does not apply to date night.
8. Did I mention touching? Heck, find a place to park and do it in the back seat.  You'd be surprised what this will do for your connection. ;)
9.  Wake Up!  Yes, we all start to feel older as the years go by. And yes, we might like to be in bed by 9:30pm, but shake it off!  Stop thinking about how tired you are and let yourself feel alive again and have fun! 
10.  Feel the love.  Take a moment to look at your wife or husband and remember what you love about them.  Just a second to REALLY look at them and ENJOY being there with them.  It's easy to become SO comfortable in our relationship that we stop thinking about how truly blessed we are to be with the person we love.  Be thankful and feel free to mention it. Or even better, show them through touch. ;)

On a positive note

Again, I'm sorry for being so depressing this last while!

And again, no one is probably listening, but I still feel the need to apologize.

 

Now that I got all that out, I felt the need to let you know that we have come a long way in the last year, my husband and I.

 

One year later I feel like he loves me 100%.

One year later I feel like I love him 100%.

One year later I am finding things that make me happy and trying to focus on them.

One year later I am feeling like my husband and I are better friends than we ever have been our entire marriage.
One year later I feel like we have a deep, emotional connection that we've never had before

One year later I feel like I can turn to my husband for comfort and know he will be there for me.

One year later I feel like I am important, that I am needed, that I am loved

One year later I feel like we actually made it through the hell that we went through
One year later I can say that I'm thankful that we have made it through this.

One year later I can say that I will be loved by this man for the rest of eternity.

 

So things may not be all the way better

But there are plenty of things to be thankful for

I was trying to think what kind of picture I would add to this post

and I thought of a sunrise.

As I searched for one I liked

I remembered one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies of all time

Pride and Prejudice

I wanted to share it with you.

I particulary love the music in the first minute or so

while her love is walking towards her

and I love that throughout the scene the sun is rising.

I'm sorry I'm such a nerd, but here is the scene

Thanks for listening  

You Make It Real

The next few posts will revolve a little bit around the TV series "Brothers & Sisters".  It's the latest series that I've finished on Netflix and I LOVE when I find some treasures from watching television.  It makes me feel a little better about watching when I can get something from it. ;)

Anyway, at the end of Season 5, Episode 1, a song started to play and I HAD to find out what it was.  So I wanted to share.  James Morrison's "You Make It Real" There's so much craziness surrounding me,
There's so much going on it gets hard to breathe
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me,
You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of my priorities,
When I've lost sight of where I'm meant to be
And like holy water washing over me,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me

When my head is strong, but my heart is weak,
I'm full of arrogance and uncertainty
When I can't find the words, you teach my heart to speak,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
You are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me

Everybody's talking in words I don't understand,
You've got to be the only one who knows just who I am
And you're shining in the distance,
I hope I can make it through
'Cause the only place that I want to be is right back home with you

I guess there's so much more I have to learn,
But if you're here with me, I know which way to turn
You always give me somewhere, somewhere I can run,
You make it real for me

And I am running to you baby,
'Cause you are the only one who saves me
That's why I've been missing you lately,
'Cause you make it real for me
You make it real for me