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Thursday, June 26, 2014

Starting A New Chapter

A lot as happened since I've blogged last. 
 To make a really long story shorter, I will just tell you that a string of events occurred that threw me into a whirlwind of panic. 
My son would be getting involved in a church activity that would put me in a room with the other woman and her family in an intimate/party like setting ONCE A MONTH for at least the next 3 years. 

To remind you, I had started to try to accept the fact that neither us nor them were able to move and I would just continue to do everything I could to avoid seeing her.  And it worked for a while.  I was never completely happy because I was keeping myself from things that made me who I am, but I thought it was worth the sacrifice if it could help me keep it together for my family, especially my kids.  So, I went on with my life, until the above mentioned occurred. 

I decided that I just CAN NOT DO THIS ANYMORE. 
 I told my husband we MUST find a way to get out of here or I might just not make it. 
What that meant, I can't be sure, except that I knew I felt like running away from my life...I was suffocating and I needed to get out. 

Right away he started looking into our options and surprisingly, we had many more options than we did last year and it actually looked like a possibility for us to move. Sooooo, drumroll please.....
The day has come
 almost two years later, but at least it has come. 
I am getting out of here!! 
As happy as I am, it is a very hard thing to do. 
I LOVE this house. 
 I LOVE the friends my kids have made. 
I LOVE the schools. 
I LOVE the area, the neighborhood and we have put SO much into this home. 
If I let myself start to think about it to much I am so sad. 
But it has to be done. 

I often see this quote going around:

And someone might tell me..."So, just STOP re-reading the last chapter so you can move on!!!" 
 And I say to them :  "How do you stop reading the last chapter when the pages are sealed open and staring you in the face!!!! " 
I can't even turn the freaking page when they live right behind us and I see HER at every turn. 
There are so many that will not understand this. 
Will not understand why I can't just get over it and move on. 
I'm sorry that you don't understand. 
 Honestly, I hope that you never do.


BAN Exeter UK said...

So so pleased for you!
Take the time you need to settle again! Although it's probably the best thing that could happen to you, don't underestimate the whole change/transition.

Mara xx

Anonymous said...

I totally understand and agree that as hard as transitions are....overtime it will be the best ever! Keep us posted:)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your blog. I'm in a similar situation. I'd love to hear how things are now for you.

Elizabeth T said...

Thanks for all your comments! Sorry it took me so long to post an update!

Anonymous said...

Oh, I understand. My husband's affair started just a month and a half after moving into our new home. I didn't even have the chance to make some good memories in our home before it happened. Thankfully, rearranging furniture and painting things a different color have helped, silly as it sounds. But ultimately, this home I'd hoped we'd live in for a long time has now become a home I hope we leave when we can, too. I understand!