On a positive note

Again, I'm sorry for being so depressing this last while!

And again, no one is probably listening, but I still feel the need to apologize.

 

Now that I got all that out, I felt the need to let you know that we have come a long way in the last year, my husband and I.

 

One year later I feel like he loves me 100%.

One year later I feel like I love him 100%.

One year later I am finding things that make me happy and trying to focus on them.

One year later I am feeling like my husband and I are better friends than we ever have been our entire marriage.
One year later I feel like we have a deep, emotional connection that we've never had before

One year later I feel like I can turn to my husband for comfort and know he will be there for me.

One year later I feel like I am important, that I am needed, that I am loved

One year later I feel like we actually made it through the hell that we went through
One year later I can say that I'm thankful that we have made it through this.

One year later I can say that I will be loved by this man for the rest of eternity.

 

So things may not be all the way better

But there are plenty of things to be thankful for

I was trying to think what kind of picture I would add to this post

and I thought of a sunrise.

As I searched for one I liked

I remembered one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies of all time

Pride and Prejudice

I wanted to share it with you.

I particulary love the music in the first minute or so

while her love is walking towards her

and I love that throughout the scene the sun is rising.

I'm sorry I'm such a nerd, but here is the scene

Thanks for listening  

Thank-you Skype

Well, I can't get out of the habit of posting my Thankfulness on Thursdays or I may end up forgetting more often.  And this is definitely one more that is more for me than it is for you.  It's something I'm not so good at and would like to make a habit of thinking this way on a daily basis.  SO, let me throw this post out there for today.  K, let me think....

 

1. Technology - more specifically Skype.  My husband has been out of town this week and we've been able to Skype every night and it's surprisingly nice to talk to a person that way rather than just on the phone. Not to mention the kids love it.

  

(crickets chirping) (I literally sat here for 5 minutes just thinking and I can't come up with any more!)

 

Ok, I don't know if I'm tired or what, but it's been a little bit of a downer day...day 5 of husband being gone and I honestly can't think of anything else to write on my thankful list.  I mean, I'm thankful everyday for my family, but I just figured that was a given.   But really, this is sad. I'm stuck.  So I guess that's it for now.  I'm tempted to not post this at all, but then I guess it's good to be real. 

 

I can, however, go on about Skype a bit more.  My dad had been trying to get us to use a web cam for the longest time.  He lives far away and wanted to use it to chat with us.  BUT to be honest...I hate the way I look in those things! I'm so self conscious!  So I never did set it up and didn't really get what the big deal was anyway.  It seemed like talking on the phone was just as good.  But then my husband and I both have a Kindle Fire HD now and he got excited to try Skype out while he'd be out of town.  So I consented mainly to indulge him on this little gimmick.  But like I said, if you can get over the fact that you look a little distorted in the little window, it really is nice to SEE him and he said the same about me. ;)  So, thank you to Skype for making this week go a little better than I thought it would.

Warm, Cozy Socks

I still sigh when I get to a Thursday.  I'm not very good at this.  I think I may make another post today because I have a feeling this is going to be as lame as last week's.

1.  Warm, cozy socks - seriously it is so cold around here lately.  We keep the thermostat pretty low and I would not survive without these socks I got from Costco!

2. The Sunlight - We haven't seen it in days around here. Good too see it again. Amazing how it really does make the day feel happier!

3. The school bus - Just dropped my kids off to catch the bus. So grateful I don't need to drive them all the way to school!  I guess I should also be grateful for the bus driver!

4. A clean house - I just caught up on all the housework and laundry and everything is put away. It feels so good!

5.  Car Seat Warmers - I had never had a car that had these until just less than a year ago. I don't know how I ever survived winter without them!

 

(Can you tell I've been cold lately? ha!)

Double Stuff Oreos

I can't really title every 'Thankful Thursday' post as Thankful Thursday, so I decided to always make the title what the first thing is on my list.  (oh, and I know it's Friday, but my Thursday post got interrupted by other news: Can Someone Explain This To Me?)

 

(There was a long pause here.  For some reason it's really hard for me to sit and think about this)

 

1.  Double Stuff Oreos - I just bought some today and they are oh so heavenly dipped in milk

2.  Books - I really do love to read...even though I have had a hard time focusing on reading as much as I used to

3. My kids' brains - They seriously make my life as a mom so easy...they are so stinking smart!

4.  My camera - It's amazing how much you can fall in love with a photograph and I love that I have a nice camera to capture special moments

5.  Music - you'll probably find that I'll talk a lot about music and lyrics.  Music really speaks to me in ways that nothing else can. 

 

This is random, but Speaking of music...what are your favorite Pandora stations?

 

My number one is GLEE ( I love how it brings in a lot of broadway), but I also like the Mumford and Sons station or Taylor Swift.

 

Just curious
 

Thankful Thursdays

I admit that this is REALLY cheesy to list what I'm THankful for on THursdays.  But you're going to have to get over it because I am a nerd.  There, I've come out of the closet. 

 

I've had a lot of depression since finding out about the affair and I've had a hard time finding the good in my life.  There have been studies that show that gratitude can be an antidepressant.  Check out the following article for more info on that : http://www.rodale.com/happiness-gratitude-and-depression?page=0,0

 

I have heard this before.  And of course we learn in church how much our spirits can be boosted by keeping in mind the things that you are thankful for.  But I have never been good at it!!!  Yes, I know am grateful for many things, but apparently it helps to literally write them down.  So I'm going to try hard and do this at least once a week. 

 

Ok, so I'm going to try to start small and list at least 5 things that I am grateful for in this moment:

 

1.  A nice home to live in (since I spend a LOT more time here since the affair)

2.  Freedom of speech (this blog has saved me...a way to vent and get out my feelings!)

3.  Good health (I sometimes feel silly for complaining about my trials.  My family is healthy and no one has died.  I wish my gratefulness for this could overtake my grief, anger and sadness over the affair)

4.  The sunshine (good to see the sun today after a bitter winter)

5. Netflix (ok, this one is lame, but seriously I carry my kindle around with me and watch shows while I do my housework.  It helps keep my mind off of everything and lets me escape into someone else's world.  I don't care if it's not a real one)

 

This really must be something that needs to be practiced because I am exhausted.  I thought I might be able to list more, but I'm done now.  Maybe I'll have a better time with it next week.