Gardening as Therapy?

No, that's not my yard.
I wish!
It's my dream to have a lush and green yard
But we have a newer house and started the yard from scratch
So it's a lot of hard work and not to mention EXPENSIVE
But we were excited to get our yard started when we moved in
And I have spent a lot of time out there over the last few years

 

When the affair happened, I thought I would never work out there again

Since that's what I was doing the morning I found out about the affair

And I felt so stupid that the affair was going on and I didn't even know it

And there I was in lala land working on my yard, trying to get it to look nice to have people over

All the while my husband was sneaking around with one of my good friends from the ward

I was disgusted

With him, with my friend, with myself

And I couldn't get myself to go out back the rest of the summer and the fall

Especially when I can see HER house when I'm out there.
I wanted to keep all the blinds closed and not even look out there
And I did. For a long time.
It was a huge trigger for me

It sucked.  It still sucks.

 

But somehow I got motivated to get out there and work
Spring came and we've had some BEAUTIFUL weather
And I got the itch to start weeding my flower beds and plant my garden

They say gardening is therapeutic.

Maybe that's true
Scientists say that it reduces stress and calms the nerves
Read about it HERE

I talked my husband into buying more trees and shrubs for our backyard

And I planted them in strategic places to try and block the view of HER house

Lucky for me, our next door neighbors also planted some trees that will help

It might take 5-8 years to really help, but it's a start

 

Now I am the nerd that sits out on her patio and admires her work  LOL

I can really tell I'm getting old when I get excited about TREES!

On the nice evenings I like to sit out there

in a spot where HER house is mostly blocked from view

And enjoy this beautiful weather while we have it

 

Although I still will glance over at HER house and cringe
Every. Time. I'm. Out. There.

I just say a little prayer that they will move
And that my trees will grow FAST

PLEASE!!!! 

Sweet Chili & Cornbread

Just two days ago it was warm enough to wear shorts

Today it is snowing!

I've got my hot chocolate and electric heated blanket while I blog

It might be a good day to have my favorite sweet chili and warm cornbread for dinner

and I think I'll share these recipes with you

Sweet Chili

1-1.5 lbs ground turkey or ground beef
3/4 of an onion, chopped
2 cans pinto beans
2 cans black beans
1 can tomato paste
2 cans tomato soup (tomato sauce works if you add extra seasonings)
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder

Cook the meat and chopped onion in a skillet until the meat is cooked all the way through.  While that cooks, you can put the rest of the ingredients in a large pot.  If you like your beans drained and rinsed, then you will need to add 1-2 cups of water to the chili.  When the meat is finished, you can add it to the pot.  Bring to a boil and then turn the heat to low.  Let it simmer for at least 30 minutes before serving.  You are welcome  to add more chili powder for a little more spice with your sweet.

Homemade Cornbread

1 1/4 cups flour
3/4 cup cornmeal
2 tsp baking powder
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 cups milk
1/4 cup shortening or butter, melted
1 egg

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees and grease an 8X8 inch baking dish.  Combine all the dry ingredients in a medium bowl.  Add the milk and egg and shortening.  (butter works as well, but the shortening makes the cornbread a little more moist)  Mix well, but no need to over do it.  Pour the batter in the pan and bake for 25-30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  Serve warm with butter!

Gotta learn that darn cup song!

I know, I'm setting the bar pretty high for this one
Some people want to climb Mount Everest or explore the world
All I can think about is how I've got to learn that darn cup song!
I keep hearing it on the radio and it makes me smile

 I still have yet to see this movie by the way.  Soon, I promise.

The famous scene from the movie:

 

I'm going to learn this, if it's the last thing I do. haha  I think this girl can help me

 

When You're Lost & Alone : Carry On

I was having a particularly bad day last week and I was alone driving in the car when this song came on.  I turned it up and started singing along.  To anyone passing me by, I probably looked like a fool.  But I LOVE music that makes me feel good, and this one cheered me up and for those 4 minutes I actually felt like I CAN carry on and that I'm going to be ok!!

 

  I am also loving the group FUN.  It's funny because sometimes I don't always understand all the lyrics, but I seem to get the gist of it and this group especially is just SO powerful that I feel the emotion run through my whole body. I found this acoustic version that I really like and wanted to share.  The chorus hits me the most "If you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, CARRY ON!"  

 

Well I woke up to the sound of silence
The cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
And I found you with a bottle of wine
Your head in the curtains
And heart like the fourth of July

You swore and said
We are not
We are not shining stars
This I know
I never said we are

Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows
To know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

So I met up with some friends
At the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
About how our parents will die
All our neighbors and wives

But I like to think
I can cheat it all
To make up for the times I've been cheated on
And it's nice to know
When I was left for dead
I was found and now I don't roam these streets
I am not the ghost you want of me

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Woah
My head is on fire
But my legs are fine
Cause after all they are mine
Lay your clothes down on the floor
Close the door
Hold the phone
Show me how
No one's ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are
We are shining stars
We are invincible
We are who we are
On our darkest day
When we're miles away
So we'll come
We will find our way home

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

Is Matthew REALLY dead??!!

Ok, I know I'm a little behind the rest of the world, but my husband and I just finished Season 3 of Downton Abbey and it was a SHOCK!  We fell in love with Matthew and Mary as a couple and they were so happy once they finally got married! It was so beautiful!  The day he died he had just met his newborn son and was happily driving to tell the rest of the family.  We finished the episode and my husband said, "I don't like that.  I'm probably not going to want to watch anymore." haha  We are such nerds!!

 

But I was in denial that he is really dead.  Is there still a chance for him??  I guess not many unconscious people look like that with their eyes open.  He looks pretty dead.  Darn it.  And then I found an article where the actor that plays Matthew talked about why he needed to leave.  (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/downton-abbey/9765334/Dan-Stevens-Why-I-left-Downton-Abbey.html) So that settled it.  He's really dead and I'm so sad! haha  Goodbye Matthew, we really will miss you.  What a good guy he was.....

When Life Gives You Lemons....

 Today, we woke up to this :

 

 Sure, it looks beautiful in a photograph, but when it's almost the end of March, I find it depressing.  So when life gave me lemons, I decided to make a lemon cake.  Doesn't your mouth water when you see this moist, bright yellow, glazed deliciousness?  Mine did. And it made me feel better too.