AWESOME Valentine's Gift Idea

Warning: More sexy talk....

Hey, it IS Valentines day coming up!

This is a great Valentine's Day Gift Idea, or anniversary gift idea

 

Let me introduce you to a

Boudoir Session

 

 

 

A lot of people don't know what this is.

It's basically a photo session of you in lingerie.

But it can be as clean and tasteful as you want it to be.

 

I know, I know....it's hard to want to do something like this when you're not feeling skinny.  And these pictures don't really help...I'm sorry.  But honestly...your husband is going to have his eyes pop out that you did this for him. 

 

You can get lingerie that helps cover the parts you are the most insecure about, and if you have a good photographer, she can get shoot the angles that work best for you and highlight your best features.  I like the idea of the outfit with the see through sweater...it can be sexy to see a bra underneath, but the sweater can help hide your love handles. 

 

You'll need some red lipstick (Be bold!)

Well, bring a few different lipsticks

Glamour yourself up like you're going out on a fancy date.

And indulge in a few new pieces for the bedroom. (Husband's favorite color?)

Some high heels might be fun

Even a sexy dress up/Halloween costume (does your husband have a fantasy? sexy nurse? haha)

Depending how comfortable you are, you might want to show a little more skin.  Maybe shirt off, but covering your chest with your arms.  Hey, this IS your husband after all.  He's seen you naked!

 

Maybe it will motivate you to get healthy and exercise and when you drop a few pounds, go for it!

But even if you don't, seriously, just get what works for you

What will make you the sexiest is not how much you weigh, but how much you have confidence in yourself.  As much as you don't want to believe it, your husband THINKS YOU'RE SEXY no matter what!  So Rock That Body!!  Bring out your inner sex goddess!! I know it's in there somewhere!

 

All I want to say, is think about it. 

I know my body is just going to go downhill from here, so I'm so glad I did it.

Not just for my husband, but for me too!  

Knock your husband's socks off this Valentine's Day

 Just to warn you, I'm just going to let myself go in this post.  Throw all caution to the wind.   Why is it a little bit hard for some of us to talk about the sexual nature of our relationships?!  It just feels like something that should be kept within the bedroom.  Ha!   BUT I am a big believer that we can all learn a lot from each other and I do think that sex should be included in that.  It's just as important a part of our relationships as anything else, and my blog DOES have a lot to do with helping you in your relationships. So here we go!

 

 

"She was standin' in the kitchen with nothin' but her apron on"

Oh yes.

You know where I'm going with this.

No more only having sex late at night with all the lights off.

Have a little fun, will ya?!

 

Some of you might remember this sweet little song, "Somewhere Other Than The Night" by Garth Brooks.  I'm not sure how many people it has inspired, but I know it inspired ME.  I really wanted to do something different last year for Valentines Day. I stepped out of my shell and let me tell you, it was completely worth it.  Here's what you can do:

 

Get rid of the kids before your husband gets home from work. Check!

Shower and shave your legs. Check!

Put on some panties and an apron. (nothing else!)  Check!

Be ready with ingredients to cook dinner together.  Check!

Optional...light some candles, put out some rose petals, set a the dinner table with some bubbly.  Check!

Have an apron ready for the hubby. (of course I'm not going to be the only naked one in the kitchen!) Check!

Be standing in the kitchen with nothing but your apron on when your hubby walks in. Check!

Make love before dinner.  NOPE!

PS: Does anyone REALLY say making love? I was trying to be more appropriate/romantic, but maybe I'll just say what I would normally say. haha

Do it after dinner.  NOPE!

Do it after you massage each other in front of the fire.  NOPE!

 

Don't get me wrong...do plenty of touching, kissing, whatever, but after dinner and after giving each other a massage, we got dressed and went to a movie!! We found ourselves to be very cuddly and touchy feely at the movie and by the time we got home, we were REA-DY.

 

And let me tell you...it was one of the best sexual experiences I've had in my 13 years of marriage....for both of us!

Hope you'll try it! ;)

Gossip Girl, Soulmates & Protecting Your Relationship

 I have finished yet another television series on Netflix!  Honestly, I started this one out of pure boredom...I needed a new show to watch as I did chores around the house and I couldn't really find one that stood out to me.  I am a HUGE 'judge a book by it's cover' person, even though I know it's wrong...I can't help it!  I always REFUSED to watch Gossip Girl because it looked so, well, for a lack of a better word...slutty.  I kept thinking there have GOT to be other shows out there like Parenthood (all time favorite), but I searched and searched and can never find anything! If you have any favorites, please comment! haha

 

ANYWAY, Gossip Girl always DID catch my eye because I knew Blake Lively from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and LOVE that movie.

 

AND I knew Leighton Meester from Country Strong...

 

 

SOOOOOOO, I gave in.  I tried the first episode.  I think I rolled my eyes because it was exactly how I expected it to be.  BUT, I let myself watch a few episodes and of course, it hooked me in...I wanted to see what happens with these characters.  

 

Would I recommend it? Eh, I don't know...it was interesting...but seriously just like a soap opera, but glammed up.  haha Seriously, all of the main characters had dated and/or slept with everyone in the main group at one time or another, but of course they were all still friends in the end. ;)  A little ridiculous if you ask me, but oh well...I watched it...all 6 seasons! 

It did, however, reinforce something I always knew. 

The importance of protecting your relationship.

 

I'm not sure I believe in soul mates.

I don't think that there is ONLY one person that can make you happy

or that there is ONLY one person you click with completely

 

I believe

that if you spend enough time with a person,

that you can grow to love them.

Just as many people will say that their love for their spouse GROWS with every passing day.

Look at arranged marriages...yes, not every one of them ends up perfectly happy,

BUT, there are so many that DO!

They perhaps start more as a friendship

but as they spend so much time together and learn more about each other,

 it gives them the opportunity to connect emotionally,

which often times leads to LOVE.

 

Look at how many times we hear about actors or actresses that get divorced and end up with someone they worked with in a movie!

Is it because they finally found the person they were MEANT to be with?!

NO! I don't think so AT ALL.

I think it's because they spent hundreds of hours working intimately with this person

and love grew out of that friendship.

 

What I'm trying to say is

 BE CAREFUL of friendships of the opposite sex.

I'm not going to say that you can't be "friends" with a member of the opposite sex

But I AM going to say I don't believe that it is a very SAFE place.

 

I have watched my husband over the years be very friendly with everyone he meets

He is a good friend

He is easy to talk to

He enjoys good conversation with other people.

But many times when he has let himself talk to another woman more than he should,

it gets out of hand. 

Without him meaning it to.

 

But that's just it. 

We are human

We are going to make mistakes

BUT that doesn't mean we can't take appropriate measures to help assure we don't keep making the same ones, right? 

Boundaries are OK. 

It is so important to safeguard our relationship.

Anything can happen.

I'm telling you people, ANYTHING can happen.

And it can happen completely out of the blue.

Just be careful.

That's all I wanted to say.

5 Steps To Overcoming Your Mistakes

{There's this REALLY interesting youtube channel called VSauce. Almost everything he has to say is pretty fascinating.  And he says it in such an interesting way! Go check it out }

A video from VSauce inspired this post.

His video called MISTAKES

 

"(Mistakes) are as much a part of us today

As the stuff we've gotten right"

 

 

I like the metaphor he gives at 6:23

Here is what he says:

"How do you deal with regret?
Guilt? 

Can you?

Stuff in your past is like a carving on the bark of a sapling

Over time the scar, the carving, won't go away

Because of the way trees grow, it won't go up and down much either

It'll just stay right where it began.

It might even get darker,

but it won't get bigger.

YOU, however

CAN!

You can keep growing

Doing more things, more branches

BE more things!

The wound won't get smaller,

but you can make IT a smaller part of who you are."

Of course, this is easier said than done.

Here are 6 steps to follow
when trying to overcome your mistakes

1. FEEL SOMETHING : Whether it's guilt or regret or shame, it's a good sign..  It means that you recognize that you made a mistake and you feel bad about it. You can't learn from your mistakes if you don't even feel like you made one!  And don't be ashamed of your SHAME.  Don't lie to avoid confronting your shame and guilt.  The people who truly love you in your life will be ready to listen and will still accept you for who you are.  So don't be afraid to feel something and share those feelings!!

2.  ACCEPT IT :  Let go of trying to justify your mistake. Let go of trying to place blame.  No matter who or what led to your decision, it was still YOUR choice. Just accept that you made a mistake.  It's part of life.  We all make them.  Man up and just take responsibility for the mistake that you made and tell yourself that you want to do better. YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON, but you have to first take responsibility.

3. APOLOGIZE : If your mistake affected another person, it is important that you let them know you are sorry.  They may not be ready to forgive you, but the important thing is that they hear you say it. It's the only way to begin to rebuild trust.  If you are religious, this may be the time to get on your knees and ask forgiveness from your Father in Heaven.  He wants to help you through it and take the guilt off of your shoulders.

4. UNDERSTAND & LEARN : Why did the mistake happen? To avoid making the same mistakes, sometimes we learn of a bad habit that we need to break.  Is there something that could have done to avoid the mistake? Maybe you shouldn't have been in a certain place or been with a certain person at all.  Don't let yourself fall into the "What Ifs" so you can start beating yourself up again, but let yourself see how you got into the situation in the first place so that you can LEARN from them.  We need to learn something from our mistakes to be able to view your them as useful stepping stones on our way to a better life. Learning from them will help us lower the risk of repeating them.

5. LIGHTEN UP : Don't be so hard on yourself! Making mistakes doesn't make you a bad person.  Making stupid decisions doesn't mean you are a stupid person.  It's the way you handle them that determines what kind of person you are. Let go of PERFECTION and you will feel so much lighter.   Handle your mistakes with grace & maturity (by following all of the above steps) and you will slowly start to be able to forgive yourself and move on. 
 

Feeling crazy like Gatsby

We just recently rented The Great Gatsby.  I read this book in high school, but didn't remember much about it other than I don't think I liked it and thought it was boring.  I really think Baz Lurman brought this book to life on the screen.  He was the director of Moulin Rouge also, and you can tell when you watch.  The styles are similar....eye candy.  LOVED Moulin Rouge. 

 Gatsby said something towards the end of the film that struck me:

"If I can just get back to the start...."

He was obsessed with wiping out the 5 years he had lost with his love Daisy.  But he was not just wanting to start over, he was wanting to pretend those 5 years didn't exist basically.  He kind of seemed like he wasn't right in the head, but I sort of got it.  

How many times have I wished that POOF, all the bad things could be whisked away from my memory and I could be sent back in time to do it all over again.  But do it in a better way of course.  In a way that avoids all the pain and heartache.  So many times I've wished this.  That's all Gatsby wanted.  He just wanted to start over.  

 

Nick Carraway told him: “You can’t repeat the past.”

 

“Can’t repeat the past?” he cried incredulously. “Why of course you can!”

 

And he was dead set on making that happen! haha  Sure, he sounds a little crazy, but that HOPE that you feel from him.  You almost believe him!

 

It's just too bad that he lost everything by being obsessed with this goal. If he had just accepted the past for what it was and let it go, he could have moved forward with the love of his life and lived happily ever after. 

 

So yes, I sometimes feel a little crazy like Gatsby, but I do understand that what is done is done.  It's in the past.  There's no redoing it.  No matter how hard a person tries...the past can't be forgotten. It becomes a part of you. It changes you.  Sometimes for the worse, but hopefully for the better. Accepting this is part of moving on.  It won't make everything better, but it's a start.  

On a positive note

Again, I'm sorry for being so depressing this last while!

And again, no one is probably listening, but I still feel the need to apologize.

 

Now that I got all that out, I felt the need to let you know that we have come a long way in the last year, my husband and I.

 

One year later I feel like he loves me 100%.

One year later I feel like I love him 100%.

One year later I am finding things that make me happy and trying to focus on them.

One year later I am feeling like my husband and I are better friends than we ever have been our entire marriage.
One year later I feel like we have a deep, emotional connection that we've never had before

One year later I feel like I can turn to my husband for comfort and know he will be there for me.

One year later I feel like I am important, that I am needed, that I am loved

One year later I feel like we actually made it through the hell that we went through
One year later I can say that I'm thankful that we have made it through this.

One year later I can say that I will be loved by this man for the rest of eternity.

 

So things may not be all the way better

But there are plenty of things to be thankful for

I was trying to think what kind of picture I would add to this post

and I thought of a sunrise.

As I searched for one I liked

I remembered one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies of all time

Pride and Prejudice

I wanted to share it with you.

I particulary love the music in the first minute or so

while her love is walking towards her

and I love that throughout the scene the sun is rising.

I'm sorry I'm such a nerd, but here is the scene

Thanks for listening  

We can still do things

 

I finally watched this movie.

Thanks to those that recommended it!

I liked it!

At the end of the movie, this was said:

I like this because I relate to it.

I didn't choose to be in the situation I'm in.

Sure, I could have done some things better,

but I didn't choose for my husband to have an affair.

And I didn't choose for that person to be someone I go to church with.

But it is what it is.

I can choose where I go from here.

It might not be what other people think I should choose

Or it might not even be the best choice for myself

But it is me that does the choosing.

 

And I CAN still do things.

For a while there I felt like my life was over

That I wanted to crawl in a hole and die

And I didn't want to DO anything!

Only just to feel sorry for myself and where my life has ended up.

I still have days like that

BUT

I can still DO things

And I can try to feel okay about them.

 

I can work on my yard and garden so that I can sit out there and enjoy spring and summer before it is gone again!

I can organize my house and get things done that I've always wanted to

I can plan fun things to do with my kids

I can spend more time with family

I can have my hobbies and enjoy them

I can make goals for the future

 

But while I CAN do things, there is plenty that I just CAN'T do

I can't go to the parks I know they met at

I can't get back on facebook

I can't involve myself in activities where she might be also

I can't be happy in this ward until she is gone

 

Yes, there are plenty of can'ts

But there IS comfort in knowing that I can still do things

And I can try really hard to feel okay about them.

So that I can feel some happiness again.

Why I Fight For My Marriage

 

It's a question no one wants to think about.

What would YOU do if your husband cheated on you?

As women, I think we'd want to be strong

and kick him to the curb!

Is that being strong?

I suppose in some situations it could be

But in mine, it would have been the easy way out.

 

I'd like to think I'm being strong

by STAYING and FIGHTING for my marriage.

 

For me, I knew the man that cheated on me was not the same man I married

But I BELIEVED he was still in there somewhere

 I chose to give him a second chance

And the time it took to come back to me

I chose to fight for the love I knew we had always had

and to HOPE that we could find it again.

 

It was NOT easy

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done

But I'm so grateful I did.

Because even though a terrible mistake happened,

I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else.

 

I got the above quote from the TV series "Brothers & Sisters"

You can see the full quote below

When I heard it, it really struck a chord with me.

That I wasn't only fighting for ME, or for HIM

But I was fighting for US

I was fighting for our FAMILY

 

So why do I fight for my marriage?

Because it is worth fighting for.

 

 

Rebuild Yourself

This is one of the quotes that inspired "Reinventing Elizabeth", along with the Untold Story one.

Falling apart SUCKS!!!! 

 Especially when I was feeling so good about who I was and what I was accomplishing. 

I thought I had a great life. 

I thought I had it all. 

But I guess our plan isn't always His plan. 

I've had a hard time accepting that.

But I can at least see that once I'm completely broken, and the pieces are shattered everywhere, it doesn't really make any sense to put myself together the exact same way. 

 It's a chance to fix the things that weren't working and be better. 

So really, I AM TRYING to see this as an opportunity. 

 It is so so very hard, when there is so much pain and hurting clouding my heart. 

But I guess trying is all I can do for now and it is better than nothing.

When You're Lost & Alone : Carry On

I was having a particularly bad day last week and I was alone driving in the car when this song came on.  I turned it up and started singing along.  To anyone passing me by, I probably looked like a fool.  But I LOVE music that makes me feel good, and this one cheered me up and for those 4 minutes I actually felt like I CAN carry on and that I'm going to be ok!!

 

  I am also loving the group FUN.  It's funny because sometimes I don't always understand all the lyrics, but I seem to get the gist of it and this group especially is just SO powerful that I feel the emotion run through my whole body. I found this acoustic version that I really like and wanted to share.  The chorus hits me the most "If you're lost and alone, or you're sinking like a stone, CARRY ON!"  

 

Well I woke up to the sound of silence
The cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
And I found you with a bottle of wine
Your head in the curtains
And heart like the fourth of July

You swore and said
We are not
We are not shining stars
This I know
I never said we are

Though I've never been through hell like that
I've closed enough windows
To know you can never look back

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

So I met up with some friends
At the edge of the night
At a bar off 75
And we talked and talked
About how our parents will die
All our neighbors and wives

But I like to think
I can cheat it all
To make up for the times I've been cheated on
And it's nice to know
When I was left for dead
I was found and now I don't roam these streets
I am not the ghost you want of me

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Woah
My head is on fire
But my legs are fine
Cause after all they are mine
Lay your clothes down on the floor
Close the door
Hold the phone
Show me how
No one's ever gonna stop us now

Cause we are
We are shining stars
We are invincible
We are who we are
On our darkest day
When we're miles away
So we'll come
We will find our way home

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on
May your past be the sound
Of your feet upon the ground
Carry on

Carry on, carry on

The Woman God Intended

I read a blog post this morning from Fancy Little Things called "Behind The Lens" and it inspired me to make my own post.  She talked about how magazine covers are constantly showing us that we aren't "enough" for society and not to mention the beauties on the covers can make us feel jealous when we do not look the same.  But we hopefully all know that every one of those photos have been doctored.  In her post, she has a picture of Faith Hill before and after for the magazine cover and I think she looks AMAZING in her before picture.  

 

For the after picture they had taken out all the wrinkles around her eyes.  I think that's a shame because I think our wrinkles make us who we are.  Thinking of that made me think of one of my favorite songs: Brandi Carlile's The Story. I first heard it as the credits played on the movie The Lucky One and instantly fell in love with it.
 

If you haven't heard it, please give it a listen.  Try to make it to 2:50 and just feel the passion.  Seriously an amazing love song. I love the first few lines:

 

All of these lines across my face

Tell you the story of who I am

So many stories of where I've been

And how I got to where I am

 

I agree that our wrinkles help to make us who we are.  And honestly, why should we be afraid of getting old? Our Heavenly Father created us just the way we are and loves us just the way we are.  I think it's important to be healthy...through exercise, healthy eating, good personal hygiene, etc, but I don't think it's necessary to over do it just because we want to look like someone else. I think it's time we be the women God intended us to be and not who the world wants us to be.

My review of "Felicity"

 

Ok, this is part of my nerdy-ness, but I love television.  What can I say? And Netflix is a DREAM because I love watching the entire series at once and not having to wait 5 years before seeing the end! Everyone really should watch TV this way. ;) (and by the way I am always doing something while I watch so I feel productive...laundry, dishes, cooking, etc...just so you know. haha)

 

Anyway, I remember watching SOME Felicity back when it was airing.  I think my husband and I would watch occasionally after we were married...so we probably only watched a season or two.  But we had watched enough to be able to recognize "Sean" and "Meghan" when we saw them together in the Salt Lake airport back around 2001 or something.  I'm not one that rushes to get autographs or anything, but my husband made me go say hello and tell them that we love Felicity. Greg Grunberg shook my hand. ;)

Anyway, I liked the first couple seasons because each episode would start and end with Felicity talking into a cassette tape that would be mailed to a friend and then we usually hear the friend talking in response at some point towards the end.  And in these "letters" they had some interesting things to say about life and I would write them down. Such as: 

 

"I'm convinced that tragedy wants to harden us.  And our mission is to never let it."

 

"I guess I'm learning little by little that we decide what our lives are going to be.  Things happen to us, but it's our reactions that matter."

 

"Bad things just happen.  No reason and no purpose.  They just occur and we are left to pick up the pieces.  I guess that's what we're all doing all the time.  Just picking up the pieces the best we can."

 

"I'm a firm believer in the power of change.  The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back."

 

So I was really enjoying these little pieces of inspiration, but then the last couple seasons changed.  They didn't do that anymore.  So I was a little disappointed that they didn't continue on that idea and on top of it all it got a little more depressing.  The characters really went through some crazy stuff.

 

So overall, if I have a rating from 0-5, I would give Felicity 3.5 stars.  I loved the characters...they did a great job with that. but I didn't like the turn that the story line took and then I didn't love how they ended it either.  It was creative, but seemed really weird for a show like this.  Worth watching if you need something to do. ;)

 

 

April 2013 General Conference Quotes

Just wanted to share some of my favorite quotes from The April 2013 LDS General Conference.

After The Storm : Mumford & Sons

I love music.  One of my most recent favorite groups is Mumford & Sons and they have this song called "After The Storm".  Go ahead, push play and read through the lyrics as you listen. 

It could have a number of interpretations, but I choose to see the meaning to be about overcoming hardship and not letting yourself be destroyed over it. And learning to love one's self and being able to trust in love again. (all easier said than done, of course)

The chorus really hits me hard. I start to cry every time.  Will there be a time with no more tears? Where my heart will no longer get broken?  What is the hill I need to get over? Perhaps my hang-up over my situation...stuck in the same ward with her; being angry at her. I don't know.  But what a pleasant thought to make it over my hill and see what I find there with grace in my heart and flowers in my hair.  I wish I could be that beautiful person.....

 

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time,
you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see
what you find there,
With grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

And I will die alone
and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
because death is just so full
and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind
and what's before.

And there will come a time,
you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see
what you find there,
With grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair.

And there will come a time,
you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart,
but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see
what you find there,
With grace in your heart
and flowers in your hair

Adventure out into the world

 

There was a point after the affair was revealed that both my husband and I were kind of in a FUNK.  It was probably a little bit of depression.  We would talk about how we are not feeling much from life right now.  We started feeling really BLAH just thinking about how we wake up, go through our day (work, school, housework) and then have dinner and ultimately end up going to bed and then starting again the next day.  We talked about what could help us find more PURPOSE and HAPPINESS. 

 

We decided that ONE thing (out of several we discussed) that helps is to have adventures to look forward to!  Maybe we can't have an adventure every day, but we can start making plans.  What are the things you've always wanted to do?  We love to EXPLORE new places and now that our kids are a little older, we want to explore with them as well.  We took a vacation to St. George, Utah and yes, we have been there before, but we sought out things we haven't done yet while visiting there. 

 

It's amazing what can happen when you think about HOPES, DREAMS or ASPIRATIONS for your life.  My problem is usually remembering what they are sometimes or forgetting to work towards them.  So one tip for you : WRITE THEM DOWN!  It can be simple as keeping a list in your phone.  Your phone is something you take with you everywhere...so any time an idea pops in your head, you can whip it out and add it to the list!  Start making a list NOW!

 

Anyway, while on vacation, we wanted to hike, but wanted something closer to town than Snow Canyon.  We found the Dixie Overlook Trail off of Red Hills Parkway at about 400 N and 200 E near Pioneer Park.  They had picnic tables and a pavilion.  There were several different trails all around, so you could choose the difficulty.  The kids mainly had fun exploring and the VIEWS were incredible.  It's nice to look out on the world and remember how wonderful and beautiful life really is.